I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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