Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
