Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
