Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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