Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Randomize
