Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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