it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
