Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Randomize
