I want to make a zoo with you.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
