he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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