was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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