24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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