Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
