ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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