you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Are we still banned from the library?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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