i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
