***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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