Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
