and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
