i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
