Swine flu. Run for my life!
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
