Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
