I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
