I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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