Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
We named our party play list daddy issues
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
