smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
