Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
