yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Your dad touched me again.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
