Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
