I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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