Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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