It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
