the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
