it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
