It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
