May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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