You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
