K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
