so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
