TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
