Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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