I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
