Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
