that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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