Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I take back everything I said about communal showers
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
