Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
