Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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