I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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