She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
