i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
